


Separate Ways to One Love

by Seigetsu_Ren



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Lisa makes a brief appearance, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, Post-Canon, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 14:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18367580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seigetsu_Ren/pseuds/Seigetsu_Ren
Summary: Rinko wants to confess her feelings for Sayo, but upon learning Sayo will be going to college in America, she is lost as to whether there is still meaning to the words she wishes to say.





	Separate Ways to One Love

**Author's Note:**

> A belated birthday gift for @JinIsTired on Twitter who has been showering us YukiSayo fans with beautiful fanart. Thanks for the food! I also like RinSayo myself, so this has been an opportunity to write out a fic idea I've been thinking about for a while. Also happens to coincide with "Blooming Largo" finally happening on ENdori. Perfect timing!

Rinko used to be a wavering person. It was not that she lacked the ability or patience to succeed in her endeavours, but no matter how much effort she invested, she would doubt herself, and eventually, the fear of not meeting others’ expectations would crush her, causing her to walk back into her protective shell.

She thought she had overcome this. How else could she have accepted the position as student council president? Have returned to the stage where she had failed as a child to win the piano concours? Yet right this moment, she chose to walk back on herself again. She swallowed the words that had been on the tip of her tongue.

“Shirokane-san? Are you alright?”

Faced with Sayo’s concern, Rinko gave a vague smile. “I…I’m fine. Thanks.”

“If you aren’t feeling well, you should not push yourself to go to practice.” Sayo continued, looking unconvinced. “Anyway, have you heard back from the music academy you’ve applied to? The one located in Vienna?”

“Not yet. Maybe I did not make their shortlist…”

“Please do not say that. You must have more confidence in yourself. Even if you really did not make it this year, knowing the reasons and overcoming your shortcomings would only make you a better pianist in the future.”

“Umm…I guess you are right, Hikawa-san.”

The conversation finally dropped off awkwardly. As much as Rinko liked talking to Sayo usually, Rinko hadn’t wanted this particular conversation to continue. She had heard enough.

After all, Sayo would be leaving for college in America this fall. Rinko had known Sayo had applied to a couple colleges there, but Sayo had said those were long shots – she had expected to stay in the Tokyo area for the next four years. The fact that she had been admitted to a college in the States and had already accepted the offer was not something Rinko had prepared herself to hear.

So, it no longer mattered what her feelings were for her band’s guitarist. Roselia was disbanding and they were going separate ways anyway – ways that would take them to opposite sides of the world.

…………

Rinko usually practised a while longer on the piano when she got home from band practice – the excitement would carry over, and she would feel the urge to improve herself, even if only by a small bit, so she could do even better next time. Today, she just lay down in bed, utterly exhausted.

She flipped open the offer letter from the academy in Vienna – she had lied to Sayo earlier this afternoon about not having received one. She had promised herself that she would confess today, and if Sayo turned her down, she would accept the admission offer. A stupid way to make such an important decision, she knew, but she needed the urgency to get out those words she had delayed for months out of a fear of rejection. Now that Sayo was going abroad, did that mean Rinko had been rejected? Not really, since she never let Sayo know her feelings, but the end result was the same, wasn’t it? Rinko would accept the offer and go to Vienna and forget all the fleeting feelings in her heart. Wasn’t it better this way? Compared to hard rejection, at least Rinko could keep her dignity. She could blame everything on bad timing, instead of being consumed by her own inadequacy. And Sayo and she would stay friends, maybe play a quest or two together on _Neo Fantasy Online_ when they were both awake in their respective time zones. Nothing would change, not for the worse, so that was the equivalent of “better”, right?

A tone sounded on her PC. Rinko reluctantly dragged herself over and found that it was a private message from Sayo on _Neo Fantasy Online_.

_Sayo: Shirokane-san, are you home?_

_RinRin: Yes, I am home._ (*・ω・)ﾉ

_Sayo: That is good. Have you had a chance to rest a bit? You didn’t look so well during practice either._

_RinRin: I am fine, thank you. I am sorry if I didn’t play very well today._ m(_ _)m

_Sayo: Do not apologize. Your sound has always been dependable. I know any flaws do not stem from a lack of practice on your part, thus why I am concerned for your well-being._

_RinRin: I really am fine._ (*´▽`*) _There is no need to be worried. Maybe I am just a little stressed by college admissions and all. It is nothing too serious._

_Sayo: Stress can be a motivator in small amounts, but too much of it and it could affect your physical and mental condition. Please take care to leave some time for yourself to destress._

_RinRin: I will keep that in mind._ ☆⌒d(*^ｰﾟ)b ｸﾞｯ!!

There was a pause in their messages and Rinko assumed it was the end of their conversation. A familiar sense of longing filled her chest. Sayo’s words were always so reassuring. It was comforting to talk to her, and she knew the feeling ran both ways. Still, Rinko couldn’t help but wonder if a barrier still stood between the two of them. As though highlighted by the way they still called each other by surnames, their conversations were succinct and polite, delving only into topics revolving around their band and school. Was it out of necessity rather than interest that Sayo chose to talk to her?

It did not matter. It no longer mattered. Rinko had decided to discard these feelings anyway. She knew Sayo wouldn’t return them. She knew.

Rinko’s phone sounded this time. Sayo’s number lighted up on the screen. But why? Why would Sayo choose to call her now, having just ended their conversation online?

“Hello, Hikawa-san.” Rinko picked up and spoke into the speaker anyway.

“Shirokane-san, sorry to bother you again.”

“It is no bother.” Rinko’s lips curled up in an involuntary smile. Hearing Sayo’s voice was even better than seeing her typed messages. The _fullness_ in her heart welled even as she tried to stop herself. “So…umm…what might be the reason for your call today, Hikawa-san?”

“Oh…that’s…” Strangely, Sayo was stuttering too. A rare occasion. It sounded so cute that Rinko felt her cheeks warm. “I…err…wanted to hear Shirokane-san’s voice. To make sure you are okay, of course. I know you said you were fine, but you tend to overwork yourself…not that I am one to speak I suppose…”

“I really am fine.” Rinko giggled. “I promise to go to bed early tonight.”

“That is good. A healthy mind and body start with a healthy lifestyle.” An answer very characteristic of Sayo, Rinko mused. “So…Shirokane-san mentioned feeling stressed?”

“Only a little bit. I am…umm…not very comfortable with changes.” It was no lie. Just thinking about leaving her friends behind – leaving Sayo – to study in a foreign country was making her sad, and _scared_. “I am a little nervous about what will happen after graduation, that is all. I will get used to it eventually.”

“It is understandable. But I think Shirokane-san has come a long way to overcoming the fear of new experiences. Remember when you were trying out different club activities last year?”

How could she have forgotten? It was the day when Sayo brought her to the archery club. The day she found these feelings that now burned so fiercely in her chest. “It is all thanks to Hikawa-san that I’ve become a little more confident.”

“That is not true. I merely explained the way of archery to you, but it was you who discovered its true meaning and applied it to other experiences.” Here, Sayo paused. There was a second of static that worried Rinko, but she quickly continued from where she had left off. “Say, would Shirokane-san like to stop by the archery range tomorrow after school?”

“Eh?”

“I…I was thinking, maybe we could practise together for a bit? I always go to the range when I am feeling lost. It clears my mind. I am not sure if this would help you too?”

Rinko didn’t know how to answer. It would be lovely to spend some time with Sayo. She had always wanted to do more of that. But…she had decided to let go already. Maybe it would be best if she started cutting things off now, so their eventual parting wouldn’t be so painful.

“I…don’t…”

“Shirokane-san, I would really like you to come if you have the time.” Sayo sounded more insistent, but the hardness of her voice tapered off soon after. “What I mean is…I would like the company. So please, if you could come, that would make me very happy.”

This wasn’t fair. When Sayo said it like that, how could Rinko refuse?

Just this once. One last time. She would let herself indulge in her sweet dreams. A parting gift for herself of sorts.

At the end of the practice session, she would tell Sayo her decision to go to Vienna. And then they would stay friends. The most distant of friends – until their separate ways take them so far apart that they lose each other in the crowd.

“Alright. I will see you tomorrow then, Hikawa-san.”

…………

The sun was low by the time Rinko made it to the archery range, lighting the skies hues of reds and golds. Sayo had gone on ahead of her when Rinko was caught up with student council business and was now the only one at the range. Sayo readied her stance, drew from her bow, breathed in, and upon exhaling she let the arrow fly, all in one fluid motion. Rinko knew the arrow would fly true before it hit bullseye. Seisha Hicchuu. If you ready your arrow correctly, it would hit the target as a natural consequence.

“Shirokane-san. You have made it,” Sayo greeted upon completing her shot. Rinko had already changed into her uniform and was adjusting the chest guard. Sayo picked out a lighter bow and handed it to Rinko. “Whenever you are ready.”

There was something in Sayo’s smile that caused confidence to fill Rinko’s heart. She nodded and returned the smile.

“I am ready.”

Rinko moved into position. She had stopped by the archery range a couple times since her first experience here and had gotten good enough to practise without Sayo’s supervision. Draw as you breathe, release as you exhale. Her first shot was wide, but she reminded herself not to let it get to her. The point of archery was not to hit the target, it was to shoot correctly, and that depended on the strength of her mind and body.

One more time. Her bow arm had not been completely aligned. She moved it slightly so it was as straight as possible in front of her. Draw, breathe out, release. The arrow nicked the top of the target. She had to bring it down. Tuck in her chin, angle her bow a little lower. Draw, breathe out, release. This time it had jabbed into the ground before reaching the target. She paused and closed her eyes, calming herself. Take it easy. Take it slowly. One step at a time. It was okay if the next shot didn’t hit bullseye. It was okay if the next shot didn’t hit the target. The arrow was just a marker for how good her release had been – based upon it, she would be able to correct her release. Every arrow had meaning. One by one they strengthened her body and mind, that was the point of this exercise.

It struck her then how stupid she had been the past while.

Was “becoming Sayo’s girlfriend” the point of her confession? Was it not for the sake of expressing her feelings?

If these feelings stemmed from a mutual understanding and appreciation, then Sayo and Rinko would be together as a natural consequence. If Sayo rejected her, that was fine too. It wouldn’t make Rinko’s feelings wrong. It wouldn’t make her a lesser person. It just meant that Sayo wasn’t the person she was looking for, and there was nothing regrettable about that.

At this realization, it was as though the scenery before Rinko widened. She was no longer consumed by the red dot in the middle of the target. Everything became clearer now that the haze of her worries disappeared. She could see herself again – the bow in her arm was firm, her draw was still and confident. She didn’t have to aim. Her body and mind _knew_ this felt right, and thus her arrow would hit.

_Whoosh… Bam. Bam._

Rinko’s arrow hit the red just as Sayo’s also hit the bullseye of her own target. They turned simultaneously towards each other, Sayo’s face lighted a slight red, perhaps from the setting sun and the exertion of their practice session.

“That was a beautiful shot, Shirokane-san.”

“Likewise, Hikawa-san.”

They shared a giggle that echoed throughout the empty range. The moment felt so intimate. It gave Rinko the courage to step forward to close their distance. Sayo did not back away and allowed Rinko to take her hand.

“Umm…Hikawa-san…I…” Rinko stuttered. She breathed in to calm her pounding heart. “I have something to say to you.”

Sayo nodded. Her smile was encouraging.

“It has been a pleasure to know you. You have taught me a lot, about archery and music, and…umm…you supported me as I worked through my problems. I really appreciate it.” Rinko almost wanted to hit herself in the head for being so indirect, but Sayo didn’t seem to mind her droning explanation – her smile turning brighter.

“It is no trouble, Shirokane-san. I never thought I would be worthy enough to be a mentor. Hearing that Shirokane-san appreciates my help means a lot to me.”

“It’s not just that!” Rinko interrupted. She felt her cheeks burn when she realized how vague her statement had been. “I…I mean that…it’s not just gratitude I’m trying to express. I…I really enjoy spending time with Hikawa-san. It…feels…very comfortable. I…I want to spend even more time with you. As in…from here on forward…to be with you…and grow together…”

Rinko’s voice trailed off, her gaze turned to the ground awkwardly. She felt like digging a hole and burying herself in it. How could she have ranted on for so long and not even have said a simple “I love you”?

“Shirokane-san?” Rinko looked up to Sayo once more, but Sayo’s eyes were shifted to stare at the range, her face so red now that Rinko could clearly see it was not an effect of the sun. “I…I have feelings for you too.”

“Eh?”

Did she really just hear that? Rinko couldn’t exactly believe it.

No, she just hadn’t dared to be hopeful. Rinko was not a forceful person. She probably wouldn’t have developed these feelings if Sayo had been repulsed by them.

“I am sorry I had kept these feelings hidden.” Sayo continued. “I knew Shirokane-san was aiming for the prestigious academy in Vienna, and I did not want my feelings to hinder your decision to go there - thus why I had applied to go abroad myself. Now that I think of it, this might all have been an excuse for my cowardice. I…I was afraid Shirokane-san would find my feelings disgusting…after all, a love for the same-sex…”

“It is not wrong!” Rinko said, gripping Sayo’s hands tighter now. “It is a consequence of our time together, and our time together has helped me grow so much. There is no way these feelings could be wrong when we’ve walked the right path to find them.”

“You are right.” Sayo returned the grip, clasping Rinko’s hands securely. “Thank you for reminding me. Shirokane-san always makes me feel at ease.”

“Me too.”

They spent a moment of silence just appreciating each other’s presence. Rinko wondered if it was like in the romance movies where the protagonist would have an internal monologue about how beautiful their significant other looked under the sunset. Strangely, such plotline didn’t seem to accurately capture Rinko’s thoughts right then. Of course, Sayo was gorgeous. There was no doubt. But Rinko was more enraptured by the warmth they shared, the likeness of their minds that reassured Rinko they would reach their common goal together – that being a better version of themselves. They would grow to become stronger and prouder.

Consumed by these feelings, Rinko spoke up, “Um…is it okay if I call you…Sayo-san?” Rinko said the words softly, a little timid by her own request.

Sayo nodded stiffly. “Please,” she said, pausing as she struggled with the next word, “Ri…Rinko.”

Hearing this gave Rinko all the confidence she needed to reach up and deliver a swift kiss to Sayo’s cheek. Sayo was stunned, turning even redder. It was so cute that Rinko couldn’t stop a light chuckle.

Just because they shared the same feelings didn’t mean they would automatically come to be the closest to each other’s hearts. There was much they still had to learn about each other, but whatever barrier remained between them, Rinko was determined to break it down. One day, they would walk together. She believed in this, and she knew Sayo believed in it too.

…………

“And then the fish tacos came with a huge helping of fries that I couldn’t quite comprehend how they managed to pile all of it on my plate.”

“Wouldn’t that make you very happy, Sayo-san?”

“I like fries a…normal amount. But American servings are unreasonably large. And the waitress asked if I wanted to order dessert. I wondered if the main would fit in my stomach, let alone more food on top of that.”

Rinko laughed. Ever since Sayo had gone to the States for college, and Rinko to Vienna likewise, they had kept in contact by video chats. Rinko had heard stories about how long-distance relationships wouldn’t work and all, but both Sayo and she decided to pursue their original plans for studying abroad. It was to further their respective experiences, and in the long-run would be helpful for both their personal and professional development. There was no reason their romance should hinder such opportunity for growth. That was not the point of their relationship.

“But what if Sayo meets a sexy and exotic foreigner and decides to date them instead of you?” Lisa had asked Rinko before she left Japan. “Not that I think Sayo is that kind of person, but people change, right? And you wouldn’t be there with her as she changes.”

“It would only be four years, Imai-san,” Rinko answered. Then, a little shyly, she continued. “And…I have some confidence in my own…sexiness.”

“Wow!” Lisa was awed. “That is a bold statement, but I like it!”

“I have thought about it though. What if Sayo-san leaves me.”

“Uh huh?”

“And I think that’s okay if it does happen.”

“Eh?” Lisa looked bewildered. “But don’t you want to be with her forever and ever?”

Rinko giggled. “Well, yes. But like you said, people would change, both she and I, whether we are physically together or not. If it happens that we are no longer compatible, then I think there is no point in forcing a continued relationship. That is not to say I would want that to happen. It is just an ‘if’ scenario, and I think that it is unlikely because we will be communicating frequently, so hopefully we will be growing together rather than growing apart.”

“Hmm…I see what you mean.” Lisa nodded. “That’s brave, Rinko. I am impressed.”

That was what Rinko had said, but even she herself still had doubts. Would this work out, really? Surprisingly, her relationship with Sayo was not only steady, but might have even improved with their distance. Before, they had limited topics to talk about because their lives were that limited: school, band, maybe a bit of _Neo Fantasy Online_. Now that they lived in different countries, meeting new people, they always had things to share with each other. Chatting with Sayo was one of the things Rinko looked forward to doing most everyday. There was just so much she wanted to talk about. It was as though their conversations could last years – which could admittedly be a bad thing since their different time zones did put either one or the other at a rather ungodly hour during their chats. They both needed more sleep, it seemed.

“So, has Sayo-san decided when you will be going back to Japan for the holidays?” Rinko asked.

“Oh yes. I finally had the chance to book the flights. December 20th, arriving at Narita at one in the afternoon. It should be a day before your arrival? I can give you a lift from the airport.”

“You probably shouldn’t drive just one day after your arrival. You would be too jet-lagged.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sayo sounded sheepish. “Then I will take a train. I…I want to see you as soon as possible.”

Rinko blushed. It felt too warm all of a sudden, even though it was snowing outside and her dorm room wasn’t exactly well-insulated.

For the first time in four months, she would be seeing Sayo again. The thought alone was enough to thaw the icicles dangling from the eaves!

“Un,” Rinko muttered. “I can’t wait to see you soon, Sayo-san.”


End file.
